Kabuto Quits
by New Warrior of Fire
Summary: Kabuto gets sick of doing all the thinking for Orochimaru. So one day, he walks out. What will Orochimaru do about Kabuto? Fall apart. Rated T for language. WARNING: This fic contains minor Orochimaru-bashing. NON-SLASH


Kabuto Yakushi was sitting at his desk , reading his medical notes. He'd been at it for hours, but for some reason his work wasn't making any sense to him.

"These figures can't possibly add up." He said.

The room became suspiciously quiet, at the same time the temperature seemed to drop.

Something was wrong.

The light in the room was fading, but the sun remained in the sky.

Kabuto felt someone grab his shoulder, and say "Kabuto, would you like to make me pleased with you?"

It was Orochimaru.

Kabuto rolled his eyes. "I couldn't give a shit less." He responded. "I've been here since six o'clock,

going over these diagrams, and the last thing I need is to be distracted with one of your stupid schemes."

"You have the wrong attitude Kabuto." Orochimaru said. "I can give you anything you want. Any land, any power. So long as you do what I say."

Kabuto took no interest or amusement in any clichéd gift Orochimaru had to offer.

"How about you give me a break." He demanded. "I can't work with you nagging me."

Kabuto put on a whiney voice. "Kabuto would you spend three weeks making a file on someone so I can say don't need it? Would you forget about your real research and help me with some plan that couldn't work if hell froze over? Would you heal this critical injury I got doing God knows what?"

"You're lucky to have been given this job. And I could take it away whenever it suited me. " Orochimaru said. He started to walk away. "I hope you didn't forget this evenings meeting. That kind of mistake could cost you a job."

Kabuto didn't say anything, so Orochimaru left the room.

* * *

Later, the meeting began and all the attendance were seated. Orochimaru had a new plan: To overthrow a shinobi gang that had been causing him trouble.

"The gang has been traced to a club, just outside the village hidden in the sand. Conveniently, the management of the club is also controlled by their leader. Kabuto and I will infiltrate that club and take out the management, and see if we can't get their leaders attention."

Kabuto was just staring off. He had a distant expression.

"Kabuto! Have you heard a single thing I've said?!" Orochimaru yelled.

"Every word. You're full of crap Orochimaru." Kabuto said. "You're as full of crap as those idiots who leave comments on "Youtube". If we go in along they'll outnumber us a hundred to one."

"I'm calling the shots here!" Orochimaru yelled. "You can do what I say or you can pay because you didn't!"

"FINE JACKASS, I'M DONE THEN!" Kabuto yelled. He went to the door.

"GO TO HELL, YOU LITTLE TRATOR!!" Orochimaru screamed.

"I'll see you there!" Kabuto said., slamming the door.

* * *

Any of those attending would have agreed that Kabuto had made deadly mistake just to question Orochimaru. But realistically Orochimaru was in the worse off position.

Now that Kabuto was gone, there was no one organizing the vital information.

No one carried out all of Orochimaru's private inside operations.

And no one kept watch over Orochimaru's health, which if left unchecked, was dangerously unstable.

As much as Orochimaru liked to pretend he was all-powerful, Kabuto was an imperitive component, just in keeping him alive.

So Orochimaru would have to stop being an arrogant bastard long enough to admit that without the help one teenager, his whole operation had completely gone to the dogs.

* * *

Orochimaru found Kabuto sitting on a park bench, drinking what seemed to be some kind of desert wine.

He was too pissed off to care about being caught drinking underage in public.

Beggars couldn't be choosers, so Orochimaru approached Kabuto.

"I suppose you've come to get me?" Kabuto said, sounding sarcastic.

"Not really. I just wondered what had become of you." Orochimaru lied.

"Well, I'm pissed off, how are you?" Kabuto asked.

"I've been able to get some work done without your insubordination slowing me down.

I'm a do-it-myself kind of man."

"Yeah, to bad you're not a do-it-right-yourself kind of man." Kabuto scoffed.

And Orochimaru knew that Kabuto saw right through his lie.

Kabuto got up to leave, so Orochimaru forced himself to say "I-need you-back Kabuto."

"Excuse me?" Kabuto asked.

"Things-aren't the same without you." Orochimaru finished quickly.

"You realize I've only been gone twelve minutes?" Kabuto's tone indicated the pathetic nature of Orochimaru's situation.

Orochimaru was to embarrassed to say anything.

Kabuto wasn't gonna pass up a chance like this. He leaned back against the bench and said

"Kiss-my-ass."

"If you come back, you can have whatever you want!" Orochimaru said.

"Yeah, alright." Kabuto said. "But you're due for a medical check up."

"Fine." Orochimaru said.

* * *

Back at Orochimaru's house, Kabuto had him look at eye charts.

"I M uh stewp idja kass." Orochimaru read.

It was good to be home.

THE END


End file.
